Think Pink

I Wasn't Listening

   Have you ever been in a room where everyone is talking all at once, but no one is listening to a word anyone is saying? Now some folks, like me, are blessed with a bit of presence and a really big mouth and are able to force their way into a conversation and make themselves heard, but the majority just go unnoticed.  Last year I was given the opportunity to help facilitate what can become a fairly rambunctious Bible study, and one of the skills I am honing is watching folks to make sure their voice is heard.  I can see it in their eyes when they have something to say, but they just don't quite have the gumption to push their way into the melee.  So I, being large and in charge, will ask everyone to pause and allow them to be heard.  Inevitably it's the quieter voices that lend an insight that has yet to be considered. 

One of my aspirations this year is to be a better friend.  I'm honestly not sure how to go about that. Not that I think I am oh-so-awesome at friendship now, but because everyone places value on actions and behaviors differently, it's hard to know where to start.  Fortunately, I think I have a clue. 

Lately I've felt a bit...unheard. Now, ultimately this post is not about me, but I think that perhaps listening to my own desires about friendship can give me a clue what to for those I love, to be a better friend.  So, back to my issue... I know that everyone is busy, and everyone has their own problems, many of them huge problems that they are contending with.  Still, it becomes hard, sometimes, to find someone who has the time to really hear what's in my heart. Which again, is not terribly important in the scheme of things, nor is it the crux of my post.

With all the busyness and scrambling and agendas and plans and problems and hurts, it's easy to feel like your voice is just another one in the wild jumble of voices all around.  With people recognizing that you are, indeed, speaking, but really too busy to stop and hear what it is you are actually saying.  Perhaps in life, as in class, my job is to recognize that little gleam in your eye, to say to myself "this person has something to say, and they really want to be heard." And then to put everything down...and just listen.

I think that far too often we think, "oh I don't know what to say to that" or "I can't fix that" or even "oh, I have some really good ideas, let me REALLY expound on them" and so we don't listen, or don't stop or get so wrapped up in our own response that we never even hear what the speaker wanted to say.  It's time for me to stop. Just stop. And listen to what the people around me are saying, and not just with their words.

I'd like to be heard, but even more importantly, I really want you to know that I hear you.  I want to know what you have to say, what you think, what you feel, what matters.  I'm sorry I wasn't listening.  I am now. Please, continue.

Idol Clutter

Some days you just know it isn't going to be an easy day. In the past I would have said that this pre-determined that it wasn't going to be a good day, but I have decided to take a different approach to this today.  It's simply going to be choice.  I AM going to have a good, productive day.  I may have to commit and recommit and recommit over and over and over and over again today to that decision, but I am not going to let the struggle inside me rule over how my life is led. 

I have spoken before about how good sleep can be a problem for me.  Last night was the first night in a long time that I have had mid-sleep insomnia, waking at 2am and unable to really get back to sleep until some time after 4am (sorry, hunky - I did TRY to be still).  Last night I think I just had too much on my mind to let it lie.  It all goes back to my theme of considering the lilies which I have yet to expound upon, and so I shall.

There are several things that make up my temperament: I'm a driven first-born, a fixer (thanks, co-dependency) and I have widely varied interests and talents.  These things tend to cause me to micro-manage, fret and take on too much.  Yet scripture tells me I need to let go, release and simply live in joy.  The things that kept me awake and pondering last night, I can neither fix nor change, and while I know that there will be many times in the days to come that I remind myself that they are not mine to keep me awake at night. My brilliant friend Jill said, "I can't change [that] reality, but I can change my reaction to it." So true, so much of what I try to control was never within my control to begin with, so no amount of effort I put forth will ever change it which leads to frustration, anger and a sore jaw (I grit my teeth when frustrated).

I took comfort in my scripture reading today when I saw that Jesus also faced being overwhelmed by the world, and maintained a sinless state by often withdrawing to commune with His Father far from the crowds, and even from his close friends.  While I harbor no illusions about maintaining a sinless state for myself, I do recognize that the way to know what things God does intend me to be responsible for is to withdraw from the noise and the needs, an even the company of loved ones and listen for His voice. If I don't take all my clutter to Him and let it go, I am still too wrapped up in it to really hear what He wants me to know.

Last night while I struggled with those worrisome idols, God was telling me something.  Come away with Him.  Leave those things that were never mine to begin with and just focus on what He is telling me.  I can't change the economy, the people around me, my husband's job and its complications, our income, another person's salvation, how other people perceive me or a myriad other things.  But I can be God's child. I can sit with Him for a time and not worry about other people's voices or my emotional state. I will let God direct my reactions to that which I cannot change, and focus on that which truly is my responsibility.  The added benefit is that I will come away filled, restored, rested and ready to pour myself into the things that are mine to fill.

Simplicity NOW!

You had to know that I was going to have to write more about organizing and getting settled, right?  It's inevitably going to be uppermost on my mind this month (though at the moment whether or not I will actually throttle the children with their own toothbrushes is pretty high as well). Earlier this year the lovely and talented producer of uncommonly cute girls Stephanie shared a "Decluttering Calendar" with me, and I fell in love.  One thing to do everyday.  I can do one thing, right? Yep. I can. I have a handy dandy highlighter and I mark them right off and I feel goo-ood! YAY! So I signed up for the little e-news letter and got this questions.  Some are a wee bit touchy-feely I'm-ok-you're-ok.  But that's ok.  They're helpful:

1. How do you want to feel this week? What is one action you can take?

Not rushed.  Plan my time. Look ahead and DO NOT procrastinate

2. Identify one time waster you can decrease.

Dang it--it's the computer.

3. You are enough. Write down 5 accomplishments from today.

• helped a friend
• started back to school
• prepared, served and cleaned up after a family dinner
• folded almost ALL the clean laundry
• went to the library

4. Calm yourself down with deep breathing during stressful situations.

5. Make a list of things you would like to finish up from last year.

• Organize the garage
• all closets decluttered and cleaned
• a place for everything
• paint the kid's rooms
• increase flower gardens

6. Do one task that has been on your to do list since 2007

I'll get back to you at the end of the week--I hope to conquer at least one closet, maybe two this week.

7. Do something you are passionate about

OH all RIGHT I'll read; twist my arm! Heh.  I hope to draw a little too.

Mission Organization

Sometimes I ask myself,"Self, why are we always cleaning and organizing?"  Maybe it's time I took the time to really answer that question as I set out to face my new year. I tried to break it down into a simple statement, a mission statement to narrow my focus:

I want to live my life the following ways:

• Do the things that need to be done quickly, efficiently, thoroughly and happily so that
• I can do the things that bring me joy more often, and without neglecting the necessary

I think that that statement fully explains what I want to do this year.  There will always be necessary things, laundry, cleaning, housework, mowing, home repair, but the faster and more efficiently I can accomplish these things every day, the more time is freed for the things I wish to do.  I am tired of feeling guilty for "stealing a a few hours" for me. Whether it be to read a book, to walk the beach, to draw or just to think, it seems that in the back of my mind is always the nagging reminder that I have other things that really need doing. NO MORE! I know my God is a God of order, making just enough hours in each and every day to accomplish everything that needs doing if I only I can order my time His way and not my way.I don't want to always be thinking about what is undone.  I want to rest and enjoy my life, my home, my family knowing that all things will be done in their proper time. 

I have many friends to thank for helping me get launched on this new adventure.  However, in order to get all things done in their proper time today, I must prepare to leave the house for the evening.  Be watching for some helpful links and happy hat tips to those who led me there tomorrow.

 

How to Eat an Elephant

I admit that I am filled to the tippy top with plans for 2008.  I also admit that I have several OCD perfectionist tendencies when I have so many wondermous and possible plans.  Those tendencies lead to conversations in my head that go like this:

"OOOOOOOOOOh that is COOL we should do that"

"ok"

"Only we have to start it RIGHT NOW TODAY and DO IT PERFECTLY THE FIRST TIME"

"really?"

"YES! It's the only way to do ANYTHING"

"oh well then....I think, let's skip it"

And herein lies the reason I think that so many people are so frustrated by New Year's Resolutions.  Because they look at them as something that must be done immediately.  Might I remind myself, and you if you need it, that the year 2008 has 12 months in it.  It does not, and in fact should not be tackled all at one time by 10 am January 1. 

I have therefore deemed that all of January is my launch month.  It is my month to collect my thoughts, to get things in order, to set the foundation for a giant tower of success.  Small things have begun to be implemented but as for larger projects, well, most of those are still being thought out, considered, and broken down into much more digestible pieces.  My aspirations are like eating an elephant. They are huge, enormous and totally attainable if I don't focus on the entire body but only on the piece that I am called to chew up right now.

I also harbor no illusions that my ideas, plans and schemes may be undermined, readjusted, or totally altered as the months come to pass.  But I don't know what may happen and worrying about it, doesn't change what needs to be addressed right now.  If change comes, so be it.  I trust the God is faithful enough to show me what needs to be kept, tossed or changed as we travel through this year.

Being that we are in the 08 year, I have EIGHT areas where I hope to improve adjust or flat-out begin anew before the end of this year.  I will be examining each more in-depth in the next week.

• Spirituality
• Relationships
• Diet
• Health
• Organization
• Time Management
• Current Skills/ Hobbies/ Activities
• New Skills/ Continuing Education

Eight Areas to work on.  There is no way I can fix, change, adjust or start everything tomorrow, but in twelve months, I can eat a lot of elephant.  One bite at a time.